I’m all for personal growth, but often our “shoulds” leave us feeling empty and defeated. It can become an endless cycle of trying harder and never quite measuring up.

I’ve noticed myself slipping back toward a similar kind of temptation: to believe I can learn my way to mature faith. I just need to figure it out and find the right technique.

Connecting with God doesn’t begin with putting our best foot forward. It begins with telling the truth. It begins with remembering. Not just God’s blessings, but our own sorrow.

Most of us spend enormous energy protecting the shell. We curate an image that says we have life under control. We compare ourselves with others, hoping to keep up, while quietly feeling anxious or inadequate. We resist the very places where God longs to meet us.

It’s true…pride comes before a fall

Attachment theory puts language to something deeply human. Children grow up healthier and more resilient when they have a secure attachment with a parent or caregiver. When a baby is distressed, they don’t calm themselves through insight or willpower. They calm by looking into a face that is calm, responsive, and present.

What I’m learning (ever so slowly) is this: what holds my attention shapes my life. We become what we behold. My first priority ends up defining me.